Spring Motivation

Internet, oh internet. Throw me a bone.

You would think in this technological age it would be super easy to find work. I mean, this town isn't coughing up anything for me yet. It's a funny place, it seems busy and ripe with opportunity, but then it still has that small town 'I'll hire you if I know you' thing to it. I keep turning to the online world to search for something, anything really, that I can call 'my new job' but so far so fail.

The good thing is that it is Spring, or so the fat little Robin perched in the tree this morning told me. The birds are cheering me on outside the window... probably just begging for food, but food costs money, so in a way it's like cheering me on right?

My nocturnal nature is hard too... perfect for working from home, but horrid for pretty much everything else. It's hard when you are nocturnal, all of your senses and ease of thought come in the wee hours of the night when silence allows you to gather yourself and get inspired. It's like a drug, super hard to kick and very very addictive. It's hard to have much of a 'life' when you are a later nighter though, unless you find other people made from the same mold. Funny thing is, we nocturnites don't know who is a fellow nocturnite because we keep to ourselves and are pretty much solo. Maybe I should start a group and see who all is out there. We can start a revolution and reverse the natural order of the world! YEAH!

I keep staying up longer than I want in hopes to sleep REALLY weird for a couple of days and then be tired enough to go to bed at a decent time on day three. It worked before I got that damn swine flu, and that blew it all to Hell really fast. Now it's back to this nocturnal stuff again. I guess I'll try that three day night cleanse soon. I just tend to think like a 'normal' person when I sleep normal and that, guys, is really harmful to the creativity!!

Decisions, decisions. Someone just give me a job already so I'm forced to sleep normal!! That always works!

Anyways, off to sleep for a couple of hours and set twenty alarm clocks so I can get up around noon. Yep, two hours sleep for me woooo! Maybe I'll drop dead (SEE: sleep really deeply) tonight at a decent hour.

Wish me luck!

Thanks for reading,

Anarchy in Tokyo

^ Not really, but it is a song from a really rad band and Japan is on my mind... but so is music, so there you go. Oh, and I haven't slept in a long time. My brain is super complex and convoluted ok? I have to deal with it so you must as well.

I went out this morning and I swear the rain saw me coming. About 20 minutes after stepping out my front door it started to pour (soaking the clothes I wore? Too much bad poetry? I think so, moving on...) I actually loved it though. It's -almost- a spring rain. Speaking of Spring, I noticed that the birdies were all super active and chirping at the dawn this morning. SPRING SPRING I LOVE YOU SPRING!

I was in a great mood until I drove by a sign outside of a local fish and chips restaurant that said 'all you can eat' and I got really angry at it. Maybe I just find things like that tasteless when things like the slaughters in Libya are happening right now and oh, oh yeah, the epic destruction in Japan. Why not a sign that says 'You buy one meal, we will help feed Japan!' or something? All you can eat... pff. Like the people of the western world need all we can eat. Seriously? It's just disgusting to see people sitting inside literally stuffing their faces until they can barely move out of sheer greed and a sick mania.

I've always admired the Japanese people and their culture, but after watching how they have handled this crisis and seeing footage of them actually helping each other, not looting businesses and homes, not rioting, not freaking out, not clamoring for food when food DOES come but rather taking it politely... wow. So much more respect than ever. The entire world could learn a million lessons from these people. Such a difference from 'all you can stuff your face with!!!' huh?

There was a story on the news where a reporter from the United States heard of ONE looting 'finally' and she went to talk to the business owner. She told the man everyone was surprised that there had been no lootings, but that it must finally be happening because she heard about this one incident. The Japanese man behind the counter said 'No, you are mistaken. The looter was white'


I wish those people the best. I also wish their animals the best. Anyone see the two dogs in the news? One was super injured and the other stayed with it until help came days and days later? Looks like we could learn a lot from animals as well.

I need to stop being so dismayed over these things though, I'm starting to want to become a hermit!! Oh oh, or maybe a hobbit! I love them hobbitses, and hey, I have Irish blood so it almost fits! I need to grow hair on my toes before I can become authentic though. Anyone have any suggestions?

I'm going to go work on some stuff now, stay dry and stay classy and don't eat all you can!! Eat what you need :)

Thank you for reading,

Chocolate Face

Well guys, the fact that I don't work in a salon anymore is REALLY starting to show. My eyebrows are heinous, my roots are over an inch long, it is all starting to go downhill.

In an attempt to correct one thing at least, see: skin, I have been applying various face masks that I have acquired from Wal-Mart. They sell these little one time application masks for about a dollar a piece, and they are really fun. I tend to collect all different kinds. Recently I applied a chocolate one and I literally wanted to eat my own face. The smell of delicious chocolate being so close to my nose for a good 20 minutes made me want to wash it off (or you know, lick it off) and go raid a candy store. By raid, I mean deplete them of their entire chocolate supply.

It made my skin feel great, but it was torture considering I
am trying to watch my diet. I certainly don't recommended this one to any of you who are sailing on the diet boat like me, but hey, if you can eat chocolate like it was going out of style, try this mask... just make sure you have a supply of candy bars beside you for after you wash it off.

Just to show you how pathetic my life has become, here is a picture.

I see Roots is having a makeover contest... feel free to nominate this girl *cough*

Thank you for reading this brief update in to the world of me,

Debate or Shut Up?

Yeah, that is the question folks.

I pose the question because I find my mind is in the minority these days, more so than yesterday and certainly more so than a year or two ago. Now a year or two ago, it was in the minority as well, but as the world becomes more liberal and, dare I say, extremist, I find that my thinking is not really meshing with the times. I can not become a conspiracy theorist overnight because frankly, that mentality makes my skin crawl and shake my head so fast I get whiplash in my neck. I have very unpopular political views, very unpopular social views and just... well if I spoke my mind I would be very unpopular indeed.

And you know, as I type that, I am reminded that it is not true. I just reminded myself (thank you writing, thank you) that there are a lot of people feeling exactly like I do, almost afraid to speak their opinion because the extremist, aka popular, voices drown us out... rather violently sometimes.

This may have you curious as to what my views actually are, and once again, I am in a corner. I can not really openly share them unless I wanted to start a wide open debate in my nice little blog. If I wanted a rock throwing contest between sides, I would have started this thread with the title 'I DISAGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR' and then braced myself for the proverbial pelting.

I bring this up because, for some reason, recently on my personal Facebook news feed there have been oh so many debates going on. Generally, 20+ are all in screaming 'GEORGE BUSH PRETENDED TO BE AN ALIEN AND CALLED SPACE TO ARRANGE TO BOMB THE TRADE TOWERS!' in unison, and the very very odd (SEE: me) person is saying 'ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!'

These things have gone beyond opinion in to crazy territory. I should have been screen shotting the conversations over the past month. I can't even have real debates anymore with people, which by the way used to be interesting, without them wanting to tear my head off for having an opposite view. Same goes for religious debates and social debates. None of them are anything other than a duck and cover situation, and yet I have a very hard time (more than ever) keeping my mouth shut.

I think it is the sheer insanity of some of the things I have been reading these days. Insanity mixed with ignorance, such a nasty combination. I mean, it's great people are trying to be involved and have opinions, I just wish that they would maybe read a book or two before claiming to know how to solve the world's problems?

Political debates are useless anyways being that we, the little man, will never know the real truths or facts. They just used to be fun and interesting before people drank the crazy water.

We have a possible Chernobyl (or worse) on our hands in Japan right now, and people are still debating if Bush staged 9/11, conspiring with alien terrorists wielding your mom's spatula of course.

I guess the best bet is to just ignore these things and focus on the real issues of the world. My attention is better spent being aware of reality than arguing with conspiracy lovers I guess.

Now, back to looking for a job /sigh

Hope you are all having a good week! Watch out for aliens!!

Thank you for reading,

Taking a Moment

I just want to take a moment and break from my regularly scheduled program of 'Me'.

Japan, wow. In the aftermath of the Earthquake I have seen so much about humanity that I do not like. So much that makes me question where we are going with this race of humans. So many comments that make me shake my head. I have been reading news stories online, trying to keep updated in more ways than just keeping CNN on full time. Underneath every news story are comments left from people. These comments are what have me utterly confused and dismayed at our new generation.

Comments stating Japan deserves this. Comments making fun of their race. Comments about 'what if this happens to me OMG' and yet nothing about the poor people in Japan that it JUST happened to. Arguments over religion. Arguments over governments helping Japan, and by arguments, I mean a lot of people are saying nobody should help them because they are a 'rich' country.

I ask you, if this were to happen here, would these same people be so wrongfully opinionated? Would they turn away Japan if they came bearing food for their children based on the fact we are a 'rich' country? Would they be yelling out racial slurs as they were trapped on their rooftop, left for days, maybe left for good? Would they be so quick to condemn? My guess is no.

It is sickening. It makes me literally nauseous. I can't believe the sheer mass of comments such as these in comparison to comments that are made in caring and showing love for the people there. There are not enough of those comments, not enough love. That's the problem today. So much self love, not enough directed outwards to your fellow man.

Sorry, but in times of crisis, your Playstation and your pizza pops are not important. Your 'sweet ride' sitting in the driveway does not make you better than someone without a car. Your opinion on world politics is not only useless at the moment, but it is probably wrong and uneducated. I say this because your opinion on this situation is very far out in left field, which tells me you are ignorant on a cellular level.

It pains me to say that the only thing that would ever rid the rot of selfish ignorance in north america is to have some of these huge disasters of our own. How sick is it that we are so spoiled here, so protected in our ignorant bubbles, that it would take mass death and destruction to shake us and wake us? LOOK AROUND. Extend your sympathy for someone other than your pathetic self. There are people DYING EVERY DAY. It does matter, they are humans like you, no different, no less important.

It is not about how much money you can donate. It is not about how loud you can make your voice so that you are heard and get attention. It is about honest to goodness caring. Real sympathy for people other than yourself, in any country, any where.

Wake up before it is too late modern generation. Things will not always be this cozy for you, and when bad things happen, I bet you will be wanting someone to show you a little selfless love.

Thank you for reading,

Alive Again

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkk. Feelin good today. Still a bit stuffy but hey, I can handle that! It's a heck of a lot better than a few days ago when I was making the activities of a Sloth look like a kid at playland compared to how slow I was moving.

I managed to make a few graphics for my friend Teena/new boss yesterday. They look pretty sexy, not going to lie. Today, once I tackle cleaning my house, I am going to stalk for work online and send off a few more resumes.

Do you guys want to know what happened yesterday that was, oh, shall we say, SO VERY MURPHY?! My boyfriend's car blew a fuel pump, but we were not sure what it was so we tried to jump it with my car... in the process, something in my engine went BOOM and my car is dead as well. Two cars one day, almost like two birds with one stone? Or shall we say two birds with one tow? Either way, Murphy's Law was hard at work in my world. Good game Murphy, you have foiled me again!

The above story is why the resume pumping out action is commencing now, post sickness. I need money guys! My life is one big Murphy party over here!

Oh, but it is my mom's birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I hope Murphy doesn't pay you a visit today too!!

Roots put up a new video from their photo shoot. My boyfriend took the day off work from both his jobs to film that all day, so I just want to thank him for doing that. Maybe when we have a bit of cash and Murphy has decided to move on to greener pastures, I can get him a camera as a gift and he can start filming short films like he's always wanted to do. Too bad he doesn't have one now, the whole Murphy thing would be good footage! A Calamity of Me, is what we could call it, and it could be dedicated to my life post having a job. I do actually find hilarity in chaos. If you look at things at the right angle, pardon my french, but shit gets funny.

Anyways, off to clean this house. If anyone wants to come help me I would gladly accept, and in return, bake you delicious cookies and make you a fresh pot of hot coffee!

Cheers folks, happy HUMP DAY! (Hi Sam!)

Thanks for reading,

Buckley's, Tastes Awful. Period.

I'm up... still. It's quarter past five in the morning. Why am I up? HACKING COUGH OF DOOM!!

I have never been a fan of cough syrups as they, to put it bluntly, make me throw up. Very taste sensitive over here *points to self* However, the cough drove me part way to insanity and just before I reached that crazy destination, I bolted out of my chair and on auto-pilot, slammed back two tablespoons full of Buckley's cough syrup. First time for everything. It does taste awful, the commercials are right. It did manage to suppress the cough a bit, for now. I can feel it lurking in my lungs still, the bastard.

Sick Sadie is angry at being sick. Anyone want to buy a hacking cough? Oh and I'm now on antibiotics due to a sinus infection from this virus. WORST VIRUS EVER. Maybe not ever, but I'm mad at it so for now I am allowed to be dramatic ok? Ok.

On a lighter, and much less hissy fitting note, I can see again! Well, almost... longer periods of time are being spent on the computer which is extremely necessary right now. I have things to do... nay, WORK to do! Real honest to goodness 'I'm getting paid for this' work. Thankfully my new freelance boss/friend knows how sick I am and doesn't want me to die before I truly get started.

What do you guys think, should I try to start my own website and actually set up some sort of pricing system for freelance stuff? Would that help? Maybe get some business cards? I never feel good enough to go that far, but you know what... I am dammit! Besides, the only way to improve is by being challenged, and the only way to get challenged is to open yourself up FOR challenges.

So yes? No? Wait a bit? What are your thoughts!

More comprehensive and productive posts coming soon. Less whine for your cheese!

Now, this is me signing off to try and sleep again. GO TEAM BUCKLEY'S!! YOU CAN DO THIS!

Thank you for reading,
♥Sick Sadie

What Came First, the Job or the Money?

It's amazing when you fall from your throne how most people scurry away from you like rats in a sewer, but the odd faithful companion remains by your side to help you rebuild.

I have been slowly seeing who my friends are, and even though there is always bitterness in the wake of something like falling from said throne, a slow and steady faith and hope rises from your inner ashes and you start to feel a new beginning. Through those few friends that stuck by me I have been given support and opportunity. Both are very important to me right now as you can imagine!

On top of making posters for Lightburn Productions, another friend has offered to hire me to build her a website and get her business off the ground. This friend has been a friend to me through a lot of things, and she is pulling through for me again. It's going to save my arse!

On top of arse saving, it is going to allow me to build more of a portfolio. Who knows, maybe all these scattered 'talents' I have will provide me with that solo career of being artistic and free after all. This starving artist might actually not starve! See? Hopeful. I have hope again.

This is a bit of a mushy post, but I'm sick as ten dogs and feelin' pretty mushy right about now.

Now, all I have to do is line up a few more projects and I should be ok for a couple of months. This should allow me the time I need to find a job, pay off these ever mounting bills and breath for a while... well, the breathing thing probably will not happen until my face is not plugged from the plague!

Off to rest, have to get better so I can get working again!

Leave me home remedies!! I need to get better!

Bad Times in Sadie Land!

The title of this post is a wee bit more dramatic than things in my life actually are. I mean, there -are- some nasty things lurking about, but there are also lots of positive things and mouse sized doors opening up here and there. With a little love from my friend 'TNT' those mouse sized doors will become large enough to fit giants through!

So um, where can I get some TNT?

I will spare you a lot of the negative, because frankly who wants to hear about it and who really cares? The internet is full of griping, whining and woe is me'ing already so I need not add to the pity pile. (I reserve the right to take this back in a future entry when I am feeling especially sorry for myself and feel the need to form my own internet support group)

I will just say that EI sucks and is useless and didn't pan out for me. THAT being said, now I'm pushing harder to find work. This is not whining, this is just fact stating!

I've had to put the blog layout on temporary hiatus as I was working on a few projects and yanno, looking for work. I made a new resume and I've sent it out hither and thither but no bites yet. It really is like fishing, and you really do hope to catch the big one, but so far guys... stagnant waters still.

Maybe the ol' resume isn't attractive enough. I wonder if the colors make it look fat, or if it is wearing the wrong shoes on it's footer. Maybe I'll give it a third makeover today.

Thanks to Jessie Lightburn for giving me my first real shot at freelance work! You rule sista!

Maybe now that I am finished with that poster I'll get back to finishing the blog layout. Things that pay before things that let me play, you know how it is. I do think I should deal with this cold I've got brewing first though as it is making my eyes run as if they were in a marathon, and they are starting to cross at random... you know when you are about to have a REALLY big sneeze and your face contorts in to a shape you never knew was possible? Yeah it's like that, but then no sneeze comes, just a flood of watering eyeballs.

My face is art, very very abstract art.

Thank you for reading!